Mulling Over

My only Burger King memory:

It's been so long - maybe 16 or 17 years, so I won't be able to give you complete details, but because someone asked the question, I will do my best.

He wanted to introduce me to something new. He said it was called a suicide.

He seemed methodical at the time, as he pressed the levers of seven drink dispensers, but thinking about it now - I know he was pressing them at random. Every liquid had its spot in the medium sized cup.

His eyes gleamed as the fizz popped above the browned orange color he had just made.

We walked outside and sat at an empty booth. I was sitting japanese style and he was on his knees. He laughed and told me to try it.

"Poison," I shouted. "That's gross."

He told me to close my eyes and think of something funny. I could hear him drinking the vile concoction and shifting around. I just sat there with my eyes shut and my mouth slightly open. Next thing I know, something very soft, warm, and very wet, hit my lips.

I screamed and pushed him away. I covered my mouth. I imagine he thought I did that to show disgust, but in reality, I did it to hide my excited smile. It tasted sweet and very tangy.

Owen looked at me and threw a peace sign. His face was red and I was happy. 

But... I would never have it again...

First kiss.

Reflecting

It's not that I am suppressed, confined, or at a stand still. I am used to it. I eat, sleep, and breathe with it. It's my fuel. I am happy to have it. If I didn't, I would be even more useless.

I like how it is so near, and so insignificant, like: scrunched jean pockets; a scuffed cell phone case; the white film on your tongue in the morning.

The only downfall: writing and publishing, for some reason it will not give me the green light - I don't even know how to get the "go ahead". BA? The quieting of my mind? The quelling of my soul? I have no idea....

Anyway, it is such a powerful ideal from every and any day and age. Everyone has their own definition and agony with it. I share the pros and cons, too. It is very stifling at times, but I feel that it is necessary - just like dying.

Fear of Failure.

A Thought

I sleep with a king, some nights, it's a queen. Sometimes it's too hot, others, too cold. But when just right: I battle Lego zombies; cook while flying; experience love, experience death; go to school naked, break out of a stomach of a bear. 

The rectangle can hold my mind and body. It's so magnificent. It's my favorite. I wish I had more time with it. 

Beds.

Secrets told about my sky

See Orion up there? Do you see how grand and crisp and amazing he is? Do you see how he shines, shines on others and for others? And look right under his belt. The rabbit dangling there. I used to believe that was me: dead, right by his side. I looked up at the sky every night to wonder what another life would be like. But ever since met you, I haven't had the urge to look up and wish I was there. Now, I just look up to tell him I am alive, and well, and happy that I found someone here on earth. I have someone better. I, the rabbit, have been revived, and is happier and more lively than ever before. And that is because of you. You outdo him in all ways. You push through the darkness and shine your light on me. I now keep my head out of the sky, and I keep my eyes on you.

I am happy. I am here. 

My 5-7-5: Winter '14

Winter's setting is
perfect for the ritual
of one's seppuku.

Grieve like morning dew
evaporating above
an old bamboo sword.

Feelings slide along
the heart like enemy blood
on a katana.

Changing tides - changing
minds? Winter is most brutal
without a partner.

Walls harden as an
oyster shell, yet bear no soul like
a shinning pearl.

Swimming up stream, the
Trout, with broken hook in mouth,
lives it's second chance.

The tiger will use
it's full strength - even when
hunting a rabbit.

The seal will trek for
miles and miles in search for the
scent of the penguin.

Ignorance is bliss,
like taking the first breath
of welcomed ocean.

His words are the logs
that keep the hearth in my chest
from smoldering out.